Americas Fowl
by Potestas
Summary: Artemis Fowl, America, Girls, Gangs, and teachers that dont know didly? Cant be good! READ ALREADY!
1. Introduction

Well I hope you like it, I wonder why no one has done this before. this is only the Introduction the story will be muich longer, 

Angeline Fowl braced herself as she walked into her sons room. "Arty?" she said loudly, "Open up dear I have to talk with you!" Artemis

Fowl opened the door and let his mother in. "Really mother, is this important? I was just putting the finishing touches on my new cloning

machine." Artemis complained. "Yes Arty it is, you see...now please understand, this wasnt an easy disision to make." you could hear her

voice shakking, she was on the verge of tears. "Whatever it is mother I'm sure that I can handle it." Artemis said with just a hint of annoyince in

his vouice, he was a get-to-the-point-or-leave-me-alone type of guy. "Well to put it simply Arty, we've decided to move you into a diffrent

school, Saint Vivi's for young men and woemen." Angeline said. "Well mother thats hardly a problem, I trust the school is closer to home?"

Artemis said relaxing, he had been expecting something bad. "Acctualy Arty," Angeline went on, "The school is in America"  
-  
dun dun dah...How do you think Artemis will react? Please review!


	2. Lifes Tough, Get A Helmet

Thank You Readers For Reading! Enjoy!... 

"America?" Artemis Fowl The Second said, he didnt belive it. America, the city of pollution and gangs, graphetti and loud music! What was

his mother thinking, no Fowl could go to America! The Fowls were much to elegant, they belonged in Ireland. But alas, this was no joke.

Artemis could tell by his mothers expression. "I'm so sorry Artemis, but we think the change will be good for you. Dont hate me." Angeline

said sadly. "Mother i could never "hate" you but I cant say I approve of your desicion. I'm not going to America!" Artemis said with disgution.

"Yes you are. That is that! Your leaving tomarro, pack your bags." Angeline said with a sudden courage. Artemis was at a loss for words his

mother had never spoken so roughly. "Yes mother." Artemis said with much regret. "Oh and Arty, Dear, Do wear "normal" boys clothes. You

will find

them in your closet, I bought them today. Dont try anything, I will be checking your bags before you leave. Good-night dear. get some rest.

you have a big day tomarro!" Angeline rose from Artemis's bed and left, shutting the door behind her. Artemis was bewildered, not only a

new school, but new clothes! Proposterous! But Artemis did find the complete teenage boys wardrobe when he opened his closet door.

Why did it have to be him!

-  
Well, like? Not like? REVIEWREVIEWREVIEW!


	3. America Rules, NOT!

Well, Hey peeps I need reviews and Ideas!... 

When Artemis Fowl woke up the next morning his suitcase was already downstairs. The only thing his mother had left in his closet was an

Abracrombie shirt, running shoes and American Eagle pants."Great" he thought to himself, "now I have to advertise America too!" When

Artemis got downstairs he had a scowl on his face that could have killed. Luckily for his mother she was leaving soon, Butler would be

driving

Artemis to the airport. Then of course escorting him to the school. Angeline had forbiden Butler to go with Artemis,

"He needs to appear a normal teenage boy." His mother had said to the bodyguard. They said their farwells and left.

...After Butler Drops Artemis Off And Artemis Gets Situated In His Dorm...

"So, your the new boy. I can't belive your from Ireland. What brings you to Idaho?" Sam a boy with dark brown hair and green eyes asked

Artemis, clearly he was one of the "popular" guys. " Acctualy I came because my mother thought I needed to come here. Trust me I did not

choose to come to Idaho. Now if you would leave, I am trying to make this dingy old bed reasonably comfortable."Artemis said in an a

annoyed tone. "Well fine," Said Sam, "I'll leave but I should warn you. I can tell your not much of a people person, and man with an accent

like that, the girls are gonna be all over you!" he left. "Artemis was shocked that anyone could have such bad grammer, but he decided to

ignore the American grammer problem and concentrate on avoiding the acctual Americans.

-Well REVIEW OR I SHALL KILL YOU ALL!


	4. In Class

Well, I would like to say to everyone that I really do need review to make my story better!... 

Artemis walked into his first class, History, this class was going to be incredibly easy. Artemis decided he would spend his class time ploting

and making the teacher, Miss Grockman, miserable. Artemis overheard two girls talking about which shade of lipstick would look better on

them and was frankly disgusted with their grammer. "Morons." he thought to himself, this was something he wouldnt usually say but he could

not find another way to describe these people. The girl sitting front of him turned around, she had brown hair and blue eyes she looked as if

she could have been a doll but if you taked to her, or stared into her eyes you could see she was really wasnt the sweetest person you

could

meet. "Morons? Really Artemis, I wouldnt do that here. " she stated, "The people here are like sharks, one wrong move and those pretty

little

eyes of your will be black and blue." Artemis wondered how she new his name, and why was she talking to him. "Oh, and everyone knows

your name by now. You would be amazed how fast new can spread. " she said like she read his mind. Artemis felt the urge to pass a snide

remark but surprisingly felt himself scared to. Perhaps it was the American accent that scared him. Of all the accents he had ever heard this

one was the toughest and roughest one yet. Thankfully the teacher started talking.

-Well I'll tell you this isnt about Artemis acting like a freak,

I plan to keep him in charecter for now, and I dont know if this is going to be romantic or funny or even scary. I just right what i feel at the

time so, even I dont know what this will be about in the end.


	5. Friend? I dont think so!

Well thanxs for the Reviews you four peeps! MORE PLEASE!...

Lunch time, Artemis planned to sit down at an empty table and dream about his past experiences with the people. This was the only thing keeping him from cracking and he had only been here for 12 hours! But of course this was way too much to ask. As Sam had predicted, the girls were all over him. To a normal teenage boy that would have been pure bliss, but as we all know Artemis Fowl was not a normal teenage boy. "Where did you go to school?" asked a blonde one dumbly. "Are your eyes really blue?" asked an even dumber red-head. "Ok peeps listen up!" yelled the girl Artemis "talked" to in class. "Y'all want lipgloss for like 10 cents, you gots 5 minutes befor lunch is over! So hurry you dont want to miss the sweet sale at Claire's! You hear!" All the girls ran out of the room, knocking over a few lunch trays on the way. The girl and her friend sat down next to Artemis. Her friend was blonde with green eyes. They were both very pretty. Of course Artemis would relise this but that didnt meen he cared. "Can I ask why you are sitting here?" Artemis said annoyed. The girl smiled. "Can I ask why you are sitting here?" she mimicked to her friend in a fake Irish accent. They both laughed. "You dont have to talk like a prince here, it makes you look like a total dork!" She said to Artemis. "At least I dont have bad grammer, like the rest of you. Also, your avoiding my question." Artemis said smartly. "Well excuse me for being American," said the girl, "Acctualy the way I see it I saved your butt from those girls! They would have started ripping your clothes off in a minute. Oh, and since you didnt bother asking, my name is Rain. This is my friend, Brittney." Artemis was slightly taken aback usually people left him alone when he got smart with them. "I'm sorry." said Artemis and he was very surprised to find that he was. "Good" she replied. "Now that were all friends, we should get to class. The bell will ring any moment and I dont want to be late." Rain and Brittney got up and left. Friend? No. Thought Artemis, he wasnt the type of person who had friends. He always knew that being nice got you nowhere.  
-  
well like? Not like? REVIEW! 


	6. Truth or Dare

well, pretty please review!(warning to mulch diggums (the writer) this is kinda out of charecter...

For the rest of the week Rain and Brittney sat with Artemis. They talked.( rain and brittney not Artemis) and surprisingly Artemis found himself listening and acctualy getting interested in what they had to say. They would debate about politics, sports, and even tried to guess Artemis's IQ. He didnt find it funny that Rain guessed 16. Today they decided not to sit with Artemis. This surprised Artemis, and it acctualy kind of hurt him. Rain and Brittney sat alone. They had decided on a "girls day". "lets play Truth or Dare!" Said Brittney. "Whatever." said Rain. "I'll go first," started Brittney happily, she had a good one, "What do you pick?" she asked. "Dare." said Rain like always." Go over there and kiss Artemis then walk back over here without saying anything to him!" Brittney said with a big evil grin. "No Way!" said Rain surprised, "What are you chicken?" asked Brittney, she knew thats the only thing that would make Rain do it. "NO!" shouted Rain, "I'll prove it to you." Artemis wached Rain and Brittney wondered what they were doing. Suddenly Rain got up and came over to him. Artemis was about to say something when she kissed him. "What was..." Artemis started but Rain just walked away, and sat down again. "I cant belive you did that!" Brittney said shocked. "You dared me, I did it. Case closed. I'm tired of this game. Lets go outside." Rain said quickly she got up and left before Brittney had a chance to say anything. Artemis was shocked too." What was that all about?" He thought to himself. Sam came over to Artemis, "Wow man. I thought you didnt like girls, or guys." he said to Artemis, "Good going dude." he gave Artemis a "jocks punch" on the shoulder. When he left. Artemis was still pretty shocked. -  
Do you like this twist? Tell me. Review! 


	7. Didnt You Like It?

thanxs for reading!...

The next day Rain and Brittney sat with Artemis again. They acted like nothing happened, but Artemis was curious. "Why did you...kiss me yesterday?' he asked suddenly. "I felt like it." replied Rain simply, she wouldnt let Artemis know it was a dare. She liked playing games with peoples heads. "Why did you feel like it?" Artemis asked his voice had a hint of annoyence(?) in it. Rain smiled inside, the perfect time for one of her games. She put on her best puppy-dog face and asked sadly,"Didnt you like it?" she asked smiling inside. Artemis was stuck. He didnt know, had he? "Yes," he decided to say, "But i still want to know why." America was starting to change Artemis, after his last experiance with the LEP he had decided to stop being a criminal, for now. But he hadnt expected America to change anything else about him. I guess he was starting to relise something. He could be evil outside of school and well, ok, on the inside. That would make his mom happy and him. But their was no doubt that he was still every bit as cold as he used to be to people he hated. like the lip-gloss girls. but he decided it would be ok to have two friends. But that was definatly all. "Well, if you liked it you shouldnt care." said Rain bluntly. Artemis relised that he wasnt going to get an answer any time soon. Rain was acctualy surprised about what Artemis had said. She found it funny that he acctualy liked it, and surprisingly sweet. Wow, she thought to herself, she never thought she would ever think or say Artemis and Sweet in the same sentance, at least not without "is not" in the middle of the words. Brittney just wached Rain and Artemis. It was pathetic really. They were always flirting with each other and they didnt even know it. This conversation was gold.

--- please tell me if you like this! 


	8. Under Butlers Watchful Eye

Well, you know the drill. Review!...

Every Saturday Butler got to come check up on Artemis. This was the first Saturday at the school and Artemis was glad his Bodygaurd was comeing. When hi bodygaurd arived on the grounds Artemis was of course, imediatly by his side. "Hello Artemis." said Butler, "How have you been?" Artemis was just about to answer when, of course, Rain had to embaress him. She came right up to him and kissed him hard. Then she left, typical. Artemis was annoyed and Butler was amused and shocked. "I see you havent been doing to bad." he said smileing, "I cant belive you acctualy have a girlfriend!" "Shes not my girlfriend!" Artemis protested. "Oh, right." said Butler, "She just a girl who happens to kiss you randomly." "Yes." said Artemis this was getting pathetic. "Well I guess I'll go and take care of that then." said Butler. "No!" Said Artemis, "Dont." "Clearly she has threatened you, Artemis." Butler said. By then he had reached the girl. Artemis knew Butler really would knock her out cold, even if it was just to teach him a lesson. Artemis knew what he had to do. He really hated this whole "hero" role. Befor Butler had a chance to do anything Artemis kissed Rain. Rain by then of course was scared that the man-mountain was going to kill her. "See," Artemis said, "She is my girlfriend." he lied, " You were right I was just embaressed." Everyone within a 10 foot radius of Artemis was staring. Rain was in shock, Butler was smiling, and Artemis was acctualy embaressed. That night after Butler left. Rain knocke don Artemis's door. When he came out she asked him a simple question. "What the heck was that!" She asked. This time Artemis was ready, "I was simply showing you what it was like to have a person you dont even like kiss you in front of people." he stated meanly. "Ughh!" Rain screamed and walked away. She had never been more embaressed in her life.

-  
REVIEW! 


	9. I agree

well, you know the drill...

The next day at lunch the girls didnt eat with Artemis, this time it was out of spite. Of course they had to keep glaring at each other. Brittney was getting seriously annoyed, at first it was funny but now it was getting way out of hand. 'Come on." she said to Rain, she gabbed her by the hand and pulled her over to Artemis. They just glared at each other. Artemis almost coudnt belive he was acctualy stooping to such a low level of human rivelry, but he had never been so mad before. "You guys are so imature!" Brittney said exasperated, "Your both totally hot for each other and neither of you will admit it! I'm fed up with it. Stay here and talk ot out i I will the school counseler to, I dont know, counsil you!" She left in a huff. "Yeah right." said Rain, "Like we really like each other." she folded her arms. "Well, at least I dont like you. You obviously like me." she said. Artemis decided for once in his life to act like a normal teenager, "So what if I do?" snapped Artemis coldly. "So what if I liked that you liked me!" she yelled. "Then I guess Brittney was right." said Artemis regaining his mature nature back. "There is no point in acting like children." "I agree." said Rain still a little mad. "So I guess you agree that your my girlfriend." said Artemis. He couldnt belive what he was saying. He was Artemis Fowl the Second smartest kid in Europe and America, but I guess, he thought to himself, that the smartest kid in Europe and America wouldnt play childesh games. It would be smarter to have a girlfriend than a crush. "Yes I do." said Rain -  
well ok, REVIEW! 


	10. Hello Artemis

CAUTION: out of charecter charecters...well, thanxs for reading!...

The next day Rain was in alot better mood, so was Artemis. Even Artemis was ready to be normal, in an extremly mature fashion. Artemis had always thought that the very Idea of exchanging saliva with someone would have to be the grossest thing ever. But Artemis had never liked anybody before. I didnt seem nearly as bad when you liked the person. When Rain sat down in History class the firstthin she did was turn around and kiss Artemis happily. "Finaly!" said Brittney, "Your acctualy acting you age!" "Very funny." said Artemis sarcasticly. Rain kissed him again. Artemis had read enough books to know that there were three stages to a relationship, The "Hot' stage, the "Talk" stage, and the "Love" stage. He hadnt thought these were right. But now he was begining to change his mind. They didnt have any other classes together until lunch and surprisingly Artemis couldnt stop thinking about Rain. So when lunch time finaly came, he was the one who kissed her, pretty hard to. "Hello Artemis." she said laughing.  
-  
keep on reviewing! 


	11. Under A Tree, Over A Mountain

same old...

The next time Butler came Artemis was not waiting right at the school gate like last time. Well, he was waiting, but then Rain came to wait with him. Butler found them "makeing-out" under a tree by the gate. "Hello Artemis." said Butler with a sly smile on his face. He was happy that Artemis had a life outside of his mind for once, and was interested to see how long this "normal teenager" thing would last. Artemis tore himself away from Rain, "Hello Butler." he said in an embaressed tone. Rain bite her looked down and bite her thumb in a embaressed gesture. "I think I'll leave." she said getting up. "Ok." said Artemis, "good-bye." Rain walked away. "Nice to see your getting along fine with the other students." Butler said mocking Artemis slightly. "Very funny." said Artemis sarcasticly, "Just because I have a girlfriend dosent mean I'm any diffrent." "Right." said Butler, "Just like your mother wasnt any diffrent when your father was kidnapped." "I find that very unamusing, Butler. That was a serious time and it wasnt very funny when it was happening." Artemis said coldly. "Right Sir." Said Butler, "Now is there anything you need me to do?" he asked. "Yes Butler there is." Artemis said. "Yes Sir?" Butler asked listening close. "I need you to bring me some caviar, you wouldnt belive the muck they feed us here." -  
REVIEW! 


	12. Calling Mother

Well, I need reviews!...

It all started with a phone call. Of course at the moment Artemis had let Rain look at his cell phone, and of course she just had to answer. "Hello?" Rain said not even thinking that maybe someone on the other lne expected Artemis to answer. "Hello." said Angeline, "Who is this?" ''I should ask the same thing!" Rain said slyly. Artemis smacked his head. "I'm Arty's mother. Can I talk to him" Angeline asked confused. "Arty," Rain said mockingly, "Phone." "Augh!" Said Arty elequently. He snatched the phone from her. "Hello mother." "Arty dear, who was that one the other line?" Angeline asked. Artemis wasnt sure how to answer that. "Oh! Arty was that you little girlfriend Butler told me about? Oh, Arty you must have her over for Christmas!" Angeline said exitedly. Artemis was not exited. "I dont think that Christmas is a good idea, she probably has plans." Artemis said hopefuly. Rain snatched the phone from Artemis before his mom could answer. "I'd love to. Yes. Ok. Bye!" she hung up. "Why must you ruin my life?" Artemis asked . "What? asked Rain, "Are you ashamed of me?" "Of course not." siad Artemis. "Right." said Rain madly, "I'm leavign in case you care, good-bye Arty." she said his nick-name rudely. -  
and of course no one reviews, cries 


	13. Proving A Point

You know what I want...

The next day Rain was still very mad. Artemis was sad. This was a one sided argument. He didnt want her to come for Christmas because that would mean embaressment for both of them, he didnt want to her to stop liking him because of his family. But of course she wouldnt listen. Artemis had to find a way to prove that he wasnt ashamed of her. A plan, if you will. This was Artemis's speciality. He got one, just like always. So when at lunch he went to the table she was sitting at, and persuaded her to come with him. He took her to the "popular" table. Something Artemis was frankly disgusted with, "clicks" were so stupid. Much to everyone surprise he sat down, and told Rain to sit down with him. By then of course everyone was staring at them, it wasnt every day to "outsiders" just sat with them. Then Artmeis started kissing her. Hard. The whole table was thrown. Rain tore away, "What are you doing!' She yelled at him standing up. "I'm proving to you I am not ashamed of you." Artemis said simply. ''Well...dont!" she said and walked away. "Dude," Sam said shaking his head. Artemis walked away to.

-  
me need reviews 


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